“My therapist, who I saw for over 8 years twice a week, was a really great guy. I was deeply attached to him and we often discussed the intense longing and profound love I had for him. In his effort to ‘heal me’ he provided me with things that are deeply rewarding to the human psyche. Over the years he told me many times he loved me and that I was special to him which did make me feel valued but also led me to believe we had a deeper connection than we did. I take responsibility for my own interpretations but as my therapist he held a position of authority and influence in my life. He needed to take responsibility to recognize the weight of his words and how they shaped my perception of our relationship. His words made me feel special and important, fostering a sense of closeness and emotional bond that extended beyond the typical therapist-patient dynamic. This blurred the lines and intensified my feelings, making it harder for me to separate professional boundaries from personal emotions. His reassurances and affirmations, while intended to support and validate me, ultimately deepened my attachment and complicated my emotional state which I shared with him. 8 years is too long to have had these unresolved feelings that completely took over my life and he should have helped me by having us consult with someone else or recognize his treatment wasn’t effective for me.
I told him how stuck I was and that my feelings for him had become obsessive and taken over my life (despite being married with kids), I shared with him that I was in constant pain. We probably would still be having sessions had I not finally gotten up the courage to leave. But I’m so angry with him because even after all these months of not seeing him my feelings haven’t abated. I should not still be feeling this way. There was or is something clearly wrong with me and he didn’t know how to help me. He should have admitted that he made me worse by telling me he loved me, periodically calling me when he was away and reminding me I was special to him. My experience with therapy, in some ways, left me worse off than when I started!”
– Beth