She was a social media influencer therapist. We had a dual relationship: she was my therapist, and we were also mutuals on a popular social media app. For two years, we had sessions online through the clinic she worked for. But there was never a formal end to the therapeutic relationship. It just sort of faded. We continued communicating through emails and DMs, and eventually, when I traveled to her town, we developed an in-person friendship.
That outside-the-therapy relationship lasted three years. And yes, I’m taking the liberty to include the 1.5 years of breadcrumbing, because after a specific event, where she crossed the line from emotional and psychological abuse to outright verbal abuse, she stopped hanging out with me, but continued to respond to emails. I wouldn’t let her speak to me that way, and after that, she began to slowly abandon the relationship. In retrospect, I think the way she backed away mirrored her own unresolved childhood trauma.
What triggered that final rupture? I’ve thought about this a lot. About 20 minutes before the verbal attack, I said something that may have subconsciously triggered her. I think it made her realize, maybe not consciously but viscerally, that this relationship was unhealthy. That she had crossed a line. That it had to end. And so she snapped.
– Thirty-Something Client